


You Don't Know (lanque centred songfic)

by orphan_account



Category: Hiveswap, Hiveswap Friendsim, Homestuck
Genre: One Shot, Other, for daraya shes only mentioned briefly, the song is You Dont Know by Mount Moon, this is a lanque centric fic so uhh hes so so wrong but like he sure is sexy huh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21743629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: BRONYA: vVDo you want to talk about it?VvNo.LANQUE: No.LANQUE: You don't care What I haVe to say.BRONYA: vVWell you're just being fussy.VvNo, you aren't. But you don't say that. She won't believe you. You wish you were younger, when you weren't aware of everything that would happen to you, or you were even looking forward to it. You feel like that is suffocating you now.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	You Don't Know (lanque centred songfic)

“There once was a time that we knew damn well we'd be wise beyond our years”

BRONYA: vVDo you want to talk about it?Vv

No.

LANQUE: No.  
LANQUE: You don't care What I haVe to say.  
BRONYA: vVWell you're just being fussy.Vv

No, you aren't. But you don't say that. She won't believe you. You wish you were younger, when you weren't aware of everything that would happen to you, or you were even looking forward to it. You feel like that is suffocating you now.

“Now we're old and it just seems we're getting dumber  
There once was a rhyme that would bring peacefulness to both of our ears  
But this music lets us know that we're not getting any younger”

You once liked Bronya, when she voiced opinions like your own, when she expressed that it suffocates her too. But then she was put in a leadership position, and- now you miss her. She's not fun. She doesn't do anything to articulate that it suffocates her. It's like you're more alone now. And it makes you angry, it makes you angry that she once understood what suffocates you, but now she doesn't. Now she suffocates you further.

“My mother would not be proud of my mouth  
But I can't get a sentence out without some sacrilege or sounding like a sailor”

When you told her you wanted to be something she didn't want you to be, you disappointed her. You aren’t supposed to have any revolutionary ideas. “Being something you're not” is, supposedly revolutionary. You had to yell at her to get this. Nothing bad has happened, yet.

“Every time I go home for the holidays and tell her how it's been, the look on her face says it's obvious I have failed her”

Bronya looks disappointed at you, the same way she looks at Daraya sometimes, but worse. You're the worst problem child than anybody she's ever given that look, but you haven't earned that. She only gives you that look because of you being “a borderline mutant”. You, technically, do fit in. Daraya doesn't.

“But you don't know  
No, you can't go where I've been  
And I don't know  
No, I'll never get where I'm going”

BRONYA: vVYou NEED to stop.Vv  
BRONYA: 1. vVThese parties aren't appropriate for you to be at. There's people and you're drawing attention to our place in the caverns.Vv  
BRONYA: 2. vVDo you want to draw attention to us Lanque?Vv  
LANQUE: I don't Want you to tell me What to do.

You don't care if she is “in charge of you”. That position was given to her by people who don't care about you. NOBODY cares about you. You want to cry, but you hold it in. Crying would draw more attention to you. Everything is so loud, tonight. Even though you aren't on the main street, everything is so loud. You wonder what it’d be like if something really loud, like a drone, would come near you. You aren't sure if you want it or not.

“And every day I hear somebody say something like  
"Yeah, I just got back from China backpacking and giving food to children"  
I have never strayed too far away from this east coast where I remain  
In my heart I am so envious I could kill them”

When you get back, Daraya tells you about her sneak out. Bronya doesn't look as hard for her as she does you. You find comfort in her presence, because she makes you feel less alone. But she doesn't know what you're going through. You wish she did, but you’d wish your life on nobody. It is a point of pride, and a point of shame.

“And I am running out of time to do the things I used to say that I  
Was put on this earth to do by God in His heaven  
Seems that I believed in something then  
Dear lord, what happened to my head?  
Now the days go by so fast I have no time to let 'em sink in”

You return to your duties, caring for the grubs. Sometimes you see yourself in them, sometimes you wish you were a grub again. There is little time in which grubs don't know what society has in store for them. Young trolls seem happy, you know you were, nothing had settled in yet. You used to remember every happy moment. Everything is so loud, still.  
The grubs help, when nobody is looking.

“But you don't know  
No, you can't go where I've been”

You sit on the floor, you're in the room for healing the grubs. 

“And I don't know  
No, I'll never get where I'm going”

You grab a red grub, and put them on your chest.

“And you don't know  
No, you can't go where I've been”

They look into your eyes, and you know they're about as mutant as you.

“And I don't know  
No, I'll never get where I'm going”

You start to cry. Noises, everything, gets softer.

**Author's Note:**

> can you tell im astral projecting here i saw a canon trans character i went nuts


End file.
